5 Super Simple Habits to Help You Win The Social Game

Social encounters help us know more about the world. The more you talk to people, the more information you can acquire about the ever-changing world.

Be it any field, from sports to computer programming to even learning the guitar, the simple act of conversing with your peers adds more value to your craft than anything else.

There are tons of opportunities around us hidden in people. That career shift you’re looking for or that unique formula to crack your derivation. They are all around us, waiting to be picked up by you or instead by your social habits. Thus, your social habits play an instrumental role in accelerating your way to success.

Group of people socialising

We’ve compiled a list of straightforward and easy to implement social habits. (#5 is our favorite)

  1. Have an Eye on Eye Contact

    They say that your “eyes are the windows to your soul.” When you look into a person’s eyes, you are indirectly telling them, “Continue talking :). I’m really interested in what you have to say.

    Moreover, maintaining eye contact also tells people that you’re a good listener. This way, you can build trust with your listeners. Moreover, good eye contact helps you win the trust of your listener. Consequently, they will want to talk to you more.

  2. Learn to Empathize

    Try to kind of predict how your listener might react to what you’re about to say because many factors affect your listener’s reaction to your comments.

    Your listener could be getting over the loss of a loved one, and this definitely wouldn’t be a good time to talk about what your dad gifted you.

    Engaging in a conversation without empathizing increases risks of social awkwardness, and that person might very well not want to talk to you again.

    Click here to learn more about the art of empathy.

  3. Complement genuinely

    Complements are great icebreakers. Something simple like, “Hey, I love that sweater you’re wearing.” does the trick.

    Complementing lightens up the possible tension between the two of you. As a result, this makes your listener feel at ease.

    Look to it that your compliment is as genuine as possible. Even if you have to make something up, craft something that’s believable. Furthermore, empathy helps you come up with natural complements.

  4. Work on your verbal skills

    If you lack the confidence to talk to strangers, you must hone your verbal skills.

    Ring up a friend, or have a monologue in front of the mirror. Work on inflections; they add more appeal to your talk.

    Don’t ever memorize scripts or dialogues. Instead, learn to deal with situations.

    The more confident you are, the better you can maneuver through conversation road-blocks.

  5. Don’t let interruptions interrupt their flow

“Hey, you were talking about how you got tickets to the Knicks game. You mentioned something about the overcooked turkey. I would love to hear the rest of the story.” This makes people super happy.

The air gets awkward and uncomfortable when your listener is interrupted.

Therefore, by not letting interruptions disrupt their conversational flow, you can make your listeners feel wanted and special.

How to Develop The habits mentioned above:

Repetition helps you get habituated. Keep repeating and learning along the way. Repetition leaves certain imprints on your subconscious mind. Consequently, you will find it extremely simple to execute the above social hacks.

I learned a way to develop habits with ease. Do try this method.

Those are five quirky habits you can work on to step up your social game.

Procrastination held me down for years. This is how I learned to procrastinate on procrastination. 

Do comment on this post; we would love to hear from y’all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Create New Habits Effortlessly

Changing your habits is the penultimate route to success.
If you’re not convinced why you must change your habits, click here.

 

Pier on a river

I’ve done tons of research on this particular topic and my favorite method is one prescribed by Charles Duhigg in his book, “The Power Of Habit”.

So Charles mentions that every habit loop consists of three elements namely:

  • A cue
  • A routine
  • A reward

A cue is anything that triggers that urge in you to carry out a specific habit.

The routine is the habit itself.

The reward is a psychological feeling associated with the completion of the routine. The reward is what tells the brain that a particular habit loop is worth remembering.

How The Habit Loop Fitted Into My Life

I’m a huge table tennis fan, and there was this one point in my life when I would play ping pong anytime anywhere. I mean it’s alright to have a passion for sport. There are times when I would stay up all night playing ping pong. It affected my productivity and sleep patterns. I knew that this was a bad habit (as it deteriorated the health pillar of my life).
Click here to find out if your habits are gambits or bandits.

Now the cue of my habit was simple: just walking past the ping pong table. Every time I walk past the table, I get an uncontrollable urge to pick my racket up and start playing with anyone.

To generalize, a cue is anything that you see, think, feel or hear prior to having an urge to carry out the routine. Now my cue was seeing the table.

Now the reward is the feeling you experience upon carrying out the routine.

After I’m done playing, I feel exhausted and kinda peaceful as I can sleep much faster than not playing in the first place.

Finding out what reward is being provided by your habit can be a tricky thing to do. A simple way to discover the reward you crave is to resist the urge to indulge in your routine. You might feel restless or irritated; hence your reward is an antidote to all that.

Note that different habits have various rewards.
So that’s how habits work. I cited the table tennis example to show how the habit loop worked.

Here’s How You Can Design Your Own Habits

An interesting feature of the habit loop is that the craving for your reward is what makes you want to carry out the routine.

I mean once you get habituated to something, only a subjection to your cue is enough to put yourself in the mental state to complete your routine.

Make sure to select a unique and simple cue. Cues are an integral part of the habit loop, so pick an appropriate cue. Write out a crunch statement so as to remind you of what you must do.

I call this a crunch statement as this tells you exactly what you need to do, how and when.

“When the alarm goes off, (CUE), I work out for an hour (ROUTINE), and get a smoothie (REWARD).”

For example, let’s say you want to develop a habit of running every evening at 5. Your cue could an alarm or a reminder on your phone. The routine is the work you put into jogging or hiking.

This is where it gets interesting. You can choose anything you enjoy doing as your reward. If you love smoothies, reward yourself a smoothie every time you complete your planned workout.

Some Points to Remember

When you are just setting out to form your new habit, keep thinking about the rewards (smoothie in this case). Visualise its coldness or the crunchiness of the chocolate.

Imagine how your smoothie tastes.  As a result, you have a genuine craving that you can satisfy only by running.
You’re essentially telling your mind that if you want that scrumptious drink, you must run.

After a couple of iterations of the habit loop, as soon as the alarm goes off, you will find it easier to start your workout. Therefore, you’re getting habituated.

You must be cautious to not have smoothies on any other occasion. This is a unique reward for your unique habit, and having smoothies for any other reason will destroy the need for your brain to habitualize working out.

 

What Next?

Using this HABIT-ROUTINE-REWARD formula, you can develop any habit you want, from becoming a better speaker to maintaining eye contact to anything.
Over time, you will become an expert in manipulating your rewards to match specific cues thus enabling to do whatever you want.

Consequently, you can achieve amazing things in life if you harness the power of habit formation.

There are other methods of habit formation, but I found this one to be the most retentive and easy.

I ended a three-year porn addiction as a result of the stuff I learnt about habits. Click here to read about my journey.

Do reach out to me; I’d love to hear from y’all 🙂

 

 

 

Everything You Need To Know About Habits In a Nutshell

No, it isn’t heroin, lol! But it’s habits.

Hey, awesome peeps. If you are reading this post, then you really want to change your life and that’s awesome!

The real secret to changing your life is <drum roll> changing your habits.

Now if you are like most people, you are probably thinking “Meh, that ain’t rocket science, everybody knows that.”

Man contemplating life

Continue reading “Everything You Need To Know About Habits In a Nutshell”

How I learnt to procrastinate on Procrastination

We’ve all been there. Delaying our most important tasks so much that we start to dread our very existence.

Since habits are the building blocks of your building of life, the habit of procrastination has the power to destroy that building and burn you to the ground.

Sorry for creating a rather horrific image, but that’s the truth.

Here’s how you can learn if the habits you developed are gambits or bandits.

Why is procrastination the killer of all success

Let’s face it! Procrastination is fun! When you know that you got a whole fortnight till you have to turn that assignment in, you tend to relax, watch a couple of movies and do a lot of other stuff.

 

What you don’t realize is that all the time you think you have is not actually guaranteed. You may fall ill or you may have to do something unexpected that sucks out a lot of your time. At the end of all this, you find yourself having little or no time to complete that assignment of yours for which you had a whole two weeks to work on.

Procrastination deteriorates the quality of your life. Unless you understand that, you can’t change this habit of yours.

Just imagine how much you could achieve, if you could just get your tasks done on time on a daily basis. You can live the life of your dreams if you simply develop anti-procrastination habits. All other skills are learnable if you can make yourself work consistently according to your plans.

 

Time and tide waits for no man!

 

Continue reading “How I learnt to procrastinate on Procrastination”

2 Teeny-Tiny Habits For You to Stay in Love

So if you just got a new crush, then you are like me (the me 10 months ago). It’s a great feeling to hang out with your crush, and when he/she finally says yes, it’s an unparalleled emotion.

I had asked my crush out just like 2 months after we met, and she was quite taken aback initially and she started to play the rather irritating, cliched friend zone trick but after a couple of months, thanks to my persistent nagging and chivalry 😉 she said yes.

Fast forwarding 5 months into the future, now the heat is gone. I’m still pretty much in love with her, I still wanna marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. But I’m having thoughts such as me probably falling out of love. My girlfriend doesn’t know that I run this blog, she’ll probably start a rant if she comes across this lol.

I did a lot of research and even asked a few people how they manage to stay in love after the initial “burning” phase.

 

Couple in love

     Love is not a feeling, but a choice you that you make everyday.

This is what I found out:

And P.S: if you are still in the friend zone, keep going at it! Nothing comes off as more attractive than your determination and stubbornness to convince your crush that you’re the one.

  • Focus on the positives

Yes, this sounds pretty mundane, but trust me, this is one of the easiest, yet most overlooked technique.

Keep reminding yourself of why you fell in love with your SO in the first place. Keep reminding yourself that.

My girlfriend would do anything to help anyone in need, she would sacrifice so much, so there you go! That’s one of the many things about her that I keep reminding myself when things get tough.

Instead of thinking, “Oh man! She always argues with me!”, I think “this is just a phase, it’ll pass. I love her helping tendency and I wanna be with her always, ain’t gonna let some petty argument separate us”.

Here’s an ultra-easy way to create habits.

  • Empathize

I just can’t seem to stress enough about the importance of this point. The ability to identify what unique situation your partner is in at a given point of time is an instrumental skill for staying in love.

There are days when my muffin would scream at me for actually no apparent reason. I could scream back at her, but I try to understand what is going on in her head.

I wrote an article about how empathy helps you say the right things.

This is why habits are so important in your life.

Try to get into their heads, people! You know your lover better than anyone, so try to find out what your better half is going through and comprehend why he/she is reacting in a certain way.

After doing so, you are in a position to even help them out and make their day better.

There are tons of other ways to stay in love, but I found these two to be super effective, and this is a start for you to appreciate your love, and to take nothing for granted.

Learn how I broke an addiction quite easily.